I spent my 20s as a restless, stay at home mom. I was managing symptoms from chronic illness which greatly impacted my physical and emotional wellbeing. I also had low self esteem linked to a lack of self identity. I was unable to cope with my emotions and turned to alcohol and other destructive behaviors and avoidance.  Deep down I was constantly seeking  connection outside of myself. I was defensive, taking life personally and wearing it as a tight garment. With a chip on my shoulder about the cards I was dealt , uninspired and lost.

 

I was having an identity crisis. I knew who I was as  a mom, daughter, wife or whatever part time job I took to temporarily feel valuable and inspired. 

Up to that point I had not taken time to figure out who I was, or maybe I was afraid to know that answer. Either way I'm glad I faced that fear and started to discern between what I liked and what I didn't and becoming ok with speaking up for and taking action on that.

 

For the first time I started building new dreams that didn't just fill everyone else's bucket. I started learning new things and became willing to be a beginner. I had always based my likes and dislikes off of other people's opinions and preferences, it was time to finally find my own. I was seeking what served my soul instead of what soothed my wounds or filled my ego.

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Along the way I built the confidence to start taking action. I would no longer let a diagnosis, physical limitations, past, title or anyone else define me anymore. Instead I let them empower me and help me connect with and support others. I started taking a look at my habits, thoughts, relationships, diet, beliefs, fears and made sure they were in alignment with my healing .

It wasn't all happy and blessed . Change can be uncomfortable but avoiding discomfort is the enemy of growth. 

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The amount of stress I had failed to process continued to have physical implications. The medical system never educated me on how stress impacted the symptoms of an immune disease or your health and wellbeing in general . In 2017 I had my first of 3  episodes where my muscles in my neck and left shoulder locked to protect from nerve damage due to a disc slip. My left arm was numb and I remained locked in one position for about a week before things started to loosen up. I was unable to lift my own head, wash my own hair, dress myself, drive or do much other than be on bed rest. I had no idea why this was happening. I underwent x rays, scans and an MRI, I was prescribed muscle relaxers and pain beds without an answer and I just wanted to know why . This happened when I was walking out of work from my desk job.

 

 The doctors said it looked like I had experienced whiplash and had neurological symptoms of post concussive syndrome, migraines, dizziness, concentration issues, visual abnormalities, audio and visual overstimulation. My own body felt like a minefield. My Nervous system was shot, my body overwhelmed and all my job cared about was when I would be back. I cared too , I was worried about paying my bills as a single mom and unable to do things i had taken for granted . This was a huge wake up call I needed to LISTEN! Listen to my body and make changes.

This really fueled my journey to find a solution and understand why this was happening. Yoga and exercise had given me more of a connection to my body up to this point  and I started to listen.

I now understand that sleep, diet and stress are the only three factors that can impact our DNA. 

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After finding my way to a somatic healer to help with the muscle tension and be proactive with my healing and preventing a flare with my immune disease and my spinal cord injury ( i now had spinal cord compression, neurological symptoms and nerve damage)

I deepened my knowledge. I  learned how stress management was the answer, that what i consumed played a big role and most importantly. I  learned it was time to take accountability and make some changes.

 

I finally didn't feel hopeless over my health care . I now felt like I was playing the most important roll and my body held the greatest wisdom.  Now I work in collaboration with my doctors . I understand they are only "practicing medicine" and spend a very small portion of their studies in understanding how diet and stress impact us. I realize that I get to self advocate and decide what is best and have a full team of support.  I also consider my yoga practice , body workers, meditation, time in nature and physical activity just as important . 

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I started to eat cleaner, learn to process my emotions, practice regulating and healing my nervous system. I removed alcohol and started facing everything i was trying to avoid and the negative behaviors i used it to cope with. I  started to live more authentically.

 

 Others around me started to approach me to ask about my journey , my healing and look for support and direction. Long story short, this is when my path and purpose became clear . I continued learning more and more. Attending workshops, reading, podcasts, certifications and whatever assisted me in supporting others . I took the leap of faith in April of 2020 to invest totally into this path. 

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The What and the Why for me became very clear and I decided to surrender the How.

Trusting that if I continued with taking small steps in the right direction, with clear intention anchored into my Why the How would unfold.

 

I am blessed to say it most certainly has and continues to amaze me . 

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Today I am a Coach for an all girls school. Leading them in an outdoor program, coaching them in rock climbing, teaching them yoga and breathwork as well as running the life fitness program based on learning to take care of our bodies and minds while self advocating and learning that self care isn't selfish. The person I needed at that age. Building self respect, mindfulness, self awareness and resilience.

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I host women's retreats focused on creating connection, community, spirituality and adventure. What I needed when I felt lost and alone. 

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I also have the privilege of hosting webinars and seminars as a keynote speaker on many topics about health and wellness. Creating healthy habits, better sleep patterns, integrative nutrition, the science of wellbeing. Consuming consciously and choosing to prioritize our health before we are forced to manage our illness. After learning the hard way. Undergoing countless invasive tests,  6 surgeries and continually being prescribed meds to manage symptoms before knowing there was another way. Now I can support others along the journey I myself navigate. Turning my diagnosis into an opportunity to help others. 

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My most recent calling forth is to open my wellness studio to offer additional services and support for others on their journey .

I have also partnered with @Octanegymct.com. 

I look forward to continuing on this path and hope to collaborate with you on your .

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